My Sweet Libby...

I just love this picture below of two of my babies, Libby and Izzie. I have been doing some work on the computer this morning and they have been snuggling for close to an hour :) They brighten my day for sure! Today Emmy and I are taking Libby to the vet to get a very large mass on the under part of her tummy looked at. I feel like we just went through this with our Golden Retriever, Gracie, who passed away from tumors last year. I am hoping and trying to be optimistic that it is just a cyst of some kind that they can remove very easily! We are such dog lovers in this family and treat all three of them as a member of the family! They are SPOILED ROTTEN too!! I will update on Libby as soon as we hear anything! Happy Thursday!

So sorry for my absence! I have not been feeling the best and still trying to recover from this darn surgery!

I don't really have a picture for today, but rather something that is just on my heart! I have just been consumed with thoughts and "what ifs" on what I am doing with my life! I am 23, have a college degree (which I am sadly not using right now) and feel like a failure. I KNOW I am not, and I know it is completely normal to be confused at this age, but I can't help but feel down on myself! My degree is in Interior Design and Art, which sadly there is no market for right now, and sadly I am just not in to it any more. I feel like I'm in the awkward middle school stage all over again! Some of my friends have AMAZING jobs, some have none, some are in med school, some are working retail, and where am I? Confused as ever! I had a great job after graduation, but HATED the work environment...just wasnt for me! Then I moved home to TN and worked at a gorgeous Baby Boutique as a designer (and ALMOST bought the store, thank God I didnt or I would prob be out of business by now!) So what am I doing NOW with my life? EVERYONE keeps asking me that and I just don't know what to tell them! I feel like I have changed my mind so many times on the direction I am taking now, that no one is taking me seriously and I HATE that! I want to be taken seriously more than anything! I have always been a goof, so I am afraid I will always be know as that. I want so badly to have a CAREER! A real life Big Girl Job! Sadly, I am going to have to go back to school and spend a TON of my own money and go for round two! I am SO beyond grateful that my parents put me through school the first round, and feel terrible that I am not doing a single thing with my degree anymore, but I just wasn't happy doing that. I am currently taking some pre-requisites now to HOPEFULLY get in to Dental Hygiene school next January. I have always had the idea of doing that in the back of my head, so I am just going for it! I think it will make me happy and I will finally be able to support myself and not mooch off the parentals or sister any longer! That will be the greatest day, when I can pay ALL of my bills and be able to maybe even give back to my family in some way! Wheww...had to just get all of that off my chest! (and you got to know me a little bit better :)) I am such a passionate person, and just feel like some of my passion for life has left for some reason, so I am trying to get that back! I want to feel 100% confident in my career decisions and I know that 2010 is the year for me! So again, if you pray, I would LOVE some prayers right now, just trying to figure all of this school stuff out and if you don't, just send good thoughts my way :) Thankfully, I have such an amazing family who I know supports me ALL the time, no matter what CRAZY ideas I come up with! Ok, that is all for today...I promise tomorrow will be more upbeat! Going to the doc tomorrow for my post-op appointment! Maybe I will post pictures of my "franken-foot" for you all to see ;)

PS: Is anyone else excited that American Idol is back?!?! I AM!!

SHOWER!!

Well, I wish I had exciting news to report on today, but I am afraid I have done NOTHING all day, but sit on my bottom with my foot elevated :) I thought I would love being waited on by mom and sis (Dad got lucky that the electronics show was this week in VEGAS!) but I am feeling quite helpless! I wish so badly to be able to get my own food and drink, or go from the bed to the couch, even to pee by myself (TMI?), but I can't yet. I know I will get there!

Something amazing did happen this afternoon though...I GOT TO TAKE A SHOWER!!!! Thanks to Emmy, I enjoyed a nice, HOT shower this afternoon, and I must say, it was HEAVENLY!! I can't get my foot wet for a couple of weeks (Yes, it is as disgusting as it sounds!) so I had to wear my special leg "protection" or as my Doc calls it, the leg condom! There it is below...

It is quite an amazing invention! It is like a really thick latex, flexible, boot! You pump the air out of it and it just suctions right to your leg and allows no penetration! It is a lifesaver in the shower! So, needless to say, I felt like a new woman after my shower!

It is still FREEZING here! I have not even been outside and I just get cold looking out the window. Hey, at least it snowed :) I don't mind it being so cold, just as long as there is snow on the ground to justify it! Here is another pic I snapped from the chair in the living room this afternoon as I watched all three of my babies play in the snow. My dogs really do bless my spirit :)

Road to Recovery...

Whewwwww...I made it! I am glad January 7th has come and gone! Yesterday we arrived at the surgery center at 6AM!! I was greeted by a VERY perky pre-op nurse named Susie, who took very good care of me before I went under! I was really nervous all morning about this surgery because my first one, a year ago, was HORRIBLE! The anesthesia team was awful and the nurses didn't care one bit about you being comfortable or nervous. So, Susie had already won the award in my book for nurse of the year! My doc came by to see me and signed off on the foot they were taking the hardware out of and off we went in to surgery! I got myself up on the operating table and don't remember one thing after that! (No Versed this time Jeannie ;)) The next thing I remember is waking up around 10 in recovery and seeing all of the nurses sitting around a table reading magazines! (Can we say cushy job?) Once I came to, they got my mom and got me out the door and on to recovery at home. The anesthesia didn't agree with me this time, but we wont get in to that. ;) Mom got me home and in the bed and has been taking very good care of me! I slept most of the day, but tried to stay up to watch Alabama win the national title! Can i get a ROLLLLL TIDE? I am not as sleepy today and not in much pain at all! I am anxious to get up and walking in the next few days! Well, as Tracy would say, PEACE AND BLESSIN'S!! I will be back in the next few days for more updates!

My babies Lola and Izzie keeping me company today :) AND the HUGE foot!

Tomorrow...

Well, tomorrow is the BIG day! Hopefully my foot will finally be on the road to recovery! I just got done taking a nice HOT bubble bath (That is what I was really thankful for today, but I didn't take of pic of that ;)) and feel all clean and ready for that 5am alarm to go off and get this over with! I go in around 7:30 and should be out of surgery within an hour! Hopefully I will be resting in my bed by noon! Here goes nothin...

Relax...

Today was such a relaxing day! I slept late, took my time getting ready, and just went at my own pace! One of my FAVORITE things in the whole world to do is get my nails done. No matter what kind of day I am having, if I just get my nails done I feel pretty and feminine!! So, that's what I did today. If you live in Nashville, I HIGHLY recommend Signature Nails! It is the bomb.com (yes I just said that :)) Since I have been home over Christmas break I have been getting so many manis and pedis because on Thursday I am having foot surgery :( Last February I went in for a routine Bunionectomy (No, I am not 85) because I had horribly painful bunions on both sides of my left foot. That surgery was NOT a piece of cake either! I could not walk for 2 weeks, had to lay in the bed in pain and just deal with it. WELL, I have been having problems with swelling of my foot ever since the surgery. Thursday they are going back in to my left foot to remove the 3 screws in hopes that it was just an allergic reaction to the metal. If you pray, feel free to shoot some up for me and if you don't, just send good vibes my way :)

So, that was my day today! Just trying to soak up these last few days of walking around and doing whatever I want!

You can see in this picture how much bigger my left foot is than my right! Hopefully they will be the same size again after this surgery!

Nana

Brrrrr! Is everyone else as cold as I am? I have not been able to warm up all day! I feel like if it is going to be this cold, there should be snow on the ground! Can I get an AMEN?

Do you ever have those days where you look at your watch and it is 3PM and you wonder where your day went? I had one of those today! Today my sister picked me up and we grabbed a sandwich to-go from my Nashville fave, Bread and Co. and took it over to our Nana's assisted living place to eat with her. Nana is my only living grandparent, so I try to spend as much time as I can with her while I am in town! I can truly call this woman my hero!! She is seriously amazing and has been through so much, yet never complains! EVER! She is an 89 year old spitfire, but doesn't look a day over 75 ;) She still has her mind too! (She is one of the few over at her place that can remember if she ate or not that day!) I LOVE going over there to visit her because I just think old people are the cutest! They have loved on us their whole lives, and when they get old it is our turn to love on them, and I DO! The things that come out of their mouths just crack me up! It is just like they have lost their filters as they have gotten older. Nana is still getting used to living alone, so it has been a tough couple of months, but I think she is finally getting the hang of things! We lost our grandfather, known as "Da" in March and it has been so tough on all of us, especially her. They would have celebrated their 64th wedding anniversary this year! Did you hear that? 64 years!! I have never seen love like theirs before and I can only HOPE to have what they had one day! I love getting to spend time with Nana, just talking about everything! You really can tell the woman anything and have no judgments passed, no questions asked! The woman has the most servant driven heart I have ever seen! She is a prayer warrior and such an encouragement! Her favorite thing to say (started by my late uncle, Rick) is "We may not have much money, but we sure have a lot of Love!" Nana would give anyone the clothes off her back if it were OK to go nakey! She has helped us out more times than I can count and she wouldn't want it any other way! I wish everyone could have the privilege of knowing this sweet, sweet lady! So, today my blessing of the day is my hero, my Nana :) Words can not even express how much I love this woman! I could talk about her all day if I could! I hope everyone stays warm tonight :)

There she is, Nana!!

This is the front of her "resort" as I like to call it! They have it pretty good here! There are a few things they could change, but the place is 4 star on the inside!