So sorry for my absence! I have not been feeling the best and still trying to recover from this darn surgery!

I don't really have a picture for today, but rather something that is just on my heart! I have just been consumed with thoughts and "what ifs" on what I am doing with my life! I am 23, have a college degree (which I am sadly not using right now) and feel like a failure. I KNOW I am not, and I know it is completely normal to be confused at this age, but I can't help but feel down on myself! My degree is in Interior Design and Art, which sadly there is no market for right now, and sadly I am just not in to it any more. I feel like I'm in the awkward middle school stage all over again! Some of my friends have AMAZING jobs, some have none, some are in med school, some are working retail, and where am I? Confused as ever! I had a great job after graduation, but HATED the work environment...just wasnt for me! Then I moved home to TN and worked at a gorgeous Baby Boutique as a designer (and ALMOST bought the store, thank God I didnt or I would prob be out of business by now!) So what am I doing NOW with my life? EVERYONE keeps asking me that and I just don't know what to tell them! I feel like I have changed my mind so many times on the direction I am taking now, that no one is taking me seriously and I HATE that! I want to be taken seriously more than anything! I have always been a goof, so I am afraid I will always be know as that. I want so badly to have a CAREER! A real life Big Girl Job! Sadly, I am going to have to go back to school and spend a TON of my own money and go for round two! I am SO beyond grateful that my parents put me through school the first round, and feel terrible that I am not doing a single thing with my degree anymore, but I just wasn't happy doing that. I am currently taking some pre-requisites now to HOPEFULLY get in to Dental Hygiene school next January. I have always had the idea of doing that in the back of my head, so I am just going for it! I think it will make me happy and I will finally be able to support myself and not mooch off the parentals or sister any longer! That will be the greatest day, when I can pay ALL of my bills and be able to maybe even give back to my family in some way! Wheww...had to just get all of that off my chest! (and you got to know me a little bit better :)) I am such a passionate person, and just feel like some of my passion for life has left for some reason, so I am trying to get that back! I want to feel 100% confident in my career decisions and I know that 2010 is the year for me! So again, if you pray, I would LOVE some prayers right now, just trying to figure all of this school stuff out and if you don't, just send good thoughts my way :) Thankfully, I have such an amazing family who I know supports me ALL the time, no matter what CRAZY ideas I come up with! Ok, that is all for today...I promise tomorrow will be more upbeat! Going to the doc tomorrow for my post-op appointment! Maybe I will post pictures of my "franken-foot" for you all to see ;)

PS: Is anyone else excited that American Idol is back?!?! I AM!!